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How to Stop Selling Yourself Short & Get What You Want Out of Life

confidence know thyself Dec 27, 2021

Why You Sell Yourself Short

Most people in the world, especially Empaths  (Quiz “How Empathic Are You?”), sell themselves short and get rattled by inappropriately given harsh criticism.  Without appropriate boundaries, Empaths can easily absorb the words and energy of all their worst critics, including themselves.  Unfortunately, the vast majority of people are critics, because they do not feel good enough about themselves to praise others.

Most people sell themselves short in one way or another. The root cause of not believing that you can do more, be more, and give more in this moment is due to criticism in either your earlier or present life by an authority figure. People sell themselves short because they believe what these authority figures, people they trust, or influencers tell them.

The truth is, the vast majority of people do not believe they are innately good enough. That is why there is so much criticism and judgment in the world today: People project their insecurities on others to make them feel better about themselves. Like a seesaw, when they push others down, they themselves feel higher. If those who are victimized don’t heal the pain that they feel and realize that the action imposed upon them is not about them personally but more about the insecurities of the person who gave them, then those victimized people will begin to do the same to others.

Do you often feel other people are somehow more important than you? If so, I want you to know a secret: Everyone is insecure at some point. No one is 100% confident 100% of the time. Most people who are insecure take their insecurities out on others by criticizing and judging them so that they will feel more significant. Critical people have the most criticism for themselves but seek to tip the self-confidence scales in their favor by criticizing others to bring them down.

Top 5 reasons people sell themselves short:

  1. Traumatic childhood experience where your parents or family gave you the belief that you were not good enough, or less talented than other children.
  2. Childhood experience where you were bullied in school, children made fun of you or disapproved of you in some way which made you feel you were not good enough.
  3. Childhood or early adulthood experience where your teachers made you feel ignorant, inferior or not good enough.
  4. Adulthood experience where your boss or coworkers make you feel you are not good enough.
  5. Adulthood experience where your significant other constantly belittles you and makes you feel you are not good enough.

How To Get Pure Confidence

If you believe you are not good enough due to a traumatic experience with your parents or family, realize that your parents were probably not feeling good enough too. Your parents were probably also selling themselves short, and due to the nagging discontent it feels to not fulfill your destiny, they took out their discontent on you, because they were not aware of it and knew no other way.

If other children made fun of you and you were bullied in school, realize that children are cruel because they model the cruelty of their parents.  Treating others badly serves as a natural release for them – they don’t understand that this is happening. When children are being cruel, in most cases they are communicating this fact: “I am now releasing all of the anger, insecurities, fear, and hatred that I’ve absorbed from my parents.”

If teachers or other authority figures are to blame for your lack of self-belief, realize that they only received their jobs because of their qualifications on paper. People are hired for jobs due to their resumes and perceived skills, usually not for their emotional maturity and empathy. Those degrees do not show who they are as human beings. And most of them, despite the fact that they are teachers, have not resolved their low self-esteem and confidence issues (click here for the new eBook on How to Have Pure Confidence), because approximately 98% of people have not taken the time to resolve these issues or analyze their limiting self-belief. Just by being here, and with just a little work, you can be in the top 2% of people who shatter limiting beliefs and cultivate unstoppable confidence.

If work colleagues or your boss act as though they are superior to you, realize that it’s all an act. They show contempt to you because they struggle to feel significant in their work lives.  You see, the workplace is built on competition. In this environment, it is almost impossible to not feel fearful or to feel worthy. Therefore most people “throw others under the bus”, put on a superior or cruel mask, or brag and name drop incessantly because they feel it’s protecting their weak, scared natures from the big, cruel, competitive work world. Know that behind the intimidating appearance, a weak, insecure child is hiding.

If your spouse or significant other is making you feel inferior, know that it is because of harsh, critical words they are telling to themselves every day. No one who tells themselves kind words like:

  • “I am amazing at what I do.”
  • “My life is 1000% perfect.”
  • “I’m an excellent negotiator and communicator because I’m so empathic and can assess needs like a pro.”
  • “I have phenomenal coping skills. I can cope with anything so that I can go home to my spouse uninhibited.”
  • “I can do this. It’s easy. I just have to take it step by step.”

Will feel the need to criticize their spouse.  One law of the mind is that it is impossible to hold 2 opposing thoughts at the same time. Therefore if they are thinking critically of you, it must mean that they are thinking critically of themselves.

It might help to give them love and show them the way to love themselves enough to be confident in their self-worth.

If you look around, you’ll notice that probably 98% of people sell themselves short and are not living the fulfilling lives they are meant to live. People sell themselves short because they have believed the criticisms that authority figures or people close to them have told them, and they are unconsciously living by the script. It takes special practice to break that pattern and re-write a new more empowering subconscious program within. (Grab the ebook 30 Days To Pure Confidence for more tips on how to do so). To break the cycle, start with pinpointing which of the 5 influences cause you to think that you were not good enough. Say out loud to them in your mind: “That is not true, what do you know?”

Here are some signs you are moving in the right direction:

  1. Your life starts becoming more positive, and easier to flow through every day.
  2. Your self-belief grows
  3. You don’t care what others think or say of you much anymore
  4. You suddenly see and are open to opportunities you have not noticed before
  5. You embody happiness from a feeling of progression in life

Once you start breaking free from critics and embodying true self-confidence and self-belief, you’ll start to experience the following:

  1. You have unstoppable faith that you’ll achieve your goals. Your goals will seem so much more real to you.
  2. Because you know you can achieve what you want, you work every day to achieve them.
  3. Because you believe in yourself and work to achieve your goals, you eventually achieve them.
  4. With each goal achieved, your subconscious gathers more and more proof of your true abilities and will consistently strive towards greater and greater goals, moving toward becoming the best person you can be – resulting in the most thrilling and fulfilling life.

 Take steps now to stop selling yourself short and step into the life and person you may be afraid of becoming. Start by writing one simple thing that you can do today to get you closer to where you want to be, and who you want to be. Then do that thing. That's your one to-do list item of the day. When you have accomplished that, write one simple thing to do tomorrow that will get you closer to your goal. Then repeat. 

You don't have to be perfect or have brilliant confidence now.  You can feel tired, lonely, or hopeless and want to stay on the sofa all day hiding from the world. Everyone is at their own level on their journey, and it's the perfect level for them right now.  Knowing where you'd like to be, and feeling tired of where you are... this is the first step to getting where you want to be in life.

And if you still feel you don't deserve what you want, or even know what you want, I've written an interactive one-of-a-kind book that will give you step by step guidance on how to build your confidence from wherever you are in life. This book will give you 30 days of specialized coaching and simple yet powerful techniques to

  • Cleanse your past
  • Reprogram your beliefs
  • Heal your life
  • Get pure confidence

Each day will take you through a step by step cumulative process to heal and grow wherever you are in life. I have poured my life, love, and 10 years of coaching and personal development experience into this book, and I know you are going to love it.

Get the book here

I wish you an absolutely fabulous life so that you can spread that energy to everyone you meet.



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 #1 Reason you are not happy with your job

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