I was in a restaurant one day and the waiter came by to show us the specials. Of course, for an empath, we can see when a waiter is just going through a spiel. This waiter sincerely loved everything he was recommending. When we told him what we wanted, no matter how strange, he would bring it out with all the trimmings.
We engaged in very nice conversation and actually got to know each other in a very authentic way. Nothing was forced and everything he said added value to our conversation, our dining experience, and our lives.
However, once we got our entrees, one of us realized he didn't bring out the appetizer, and mentioned it to him. He immediately felt terrible and asked if we still wanted it (we didn't). Then he asked if he could get us extra of anything at all (we didn't need it). However, at the end, he ended up giving us our dessert to rectify the mishap.
We were very happy with the service, and once we were done, we gave him a very good tip and a good rating on the survey. What he said afterwards surprised me...
"I'm glad you guys weren't mean to me when I forgot the appetizer."
But then I thought: What's perfect about this?
His mistake was perfect for us because we saved money on an appetizer we did not need, and received a free dessert, and had a higher impression of the restaurant and the waiter as a whole.
There is no reason to be mean to anyone period, even if they make a mistake. And even if they don't correct it, they may not know how or they may not even have the consciousness to understand the nature of their mistake. Kindly correct them and ask for what you want. Most of the time, people do not intentionally make the mistake.
The best thing to do when you make a mistake is to not hide it, but take responsibility for it and correct it as best as you can. No one will be perfect "except baby Jesus" he said, so be yourself and that is enough.
That is always enough.
The waiter may have encountered a harsher response from other people not as empathic. However, if you do the following, the likelihood of successfully smoothing over any mistake dramatically increases. And the good part is, you don't have to do anything incongruent to who you are. In actuality, doing these things will make you even more of who you are.
The reason he came across to us so well are the same universal values everyone can take to live a successful life:
1) Add value wherever you go. When I ordered hot water and lemon, even though this is a highly unusual order, he brought out extra lemons and my own pot of hot water for refills.
2) Take personal interest in other people's lives. He added value to our conversation by sharing about himself when appropriate, the restaurant and the insider specials.
3) Love what you do. He had an expressed love for his job that no one can fake. You can naturally tell who is working for the money, and who is working for love.
You see, most people in the world are not kind to one another. The reason I wrote this article is to show Empaths who don't yet realize that they are worthy the following message: Never accept anyone being mean to you, even if you make a mistake. There is no shame in making a mistake: you did not make it on purpose. If you went through life in love, doing what you love, you are worthy already. No one needs to tell you that you're not good enough. You need no one's approval, even after making a mistake. And what's more, you can always ask yourself: "What's perfect about this?" And what do you find?
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