Have you ever written a heartfelt message to someone you really cared about -- whether it be someone you enjoyed working with, someone you admire, or maybe your significant other -- and then had the unfortunate experience of seeing that they read your message but have not replied?
Maybe a day or two has passed, and you realized they won't get to your message and you start to think that you must not be important to them, or that you never mattered. If they really cared, they would write back, right?
There can be many reasons a person won't reply and can range from:
Many people don't realize the pain that not responding causes the sender of the message. And it is because we are not taught these things in life. As you can see by the reasons above, most people only care about how they feel -- that THEY are too busy or THEY feel pushed, that THEY don't know the answer...
Most of us have not stopped to think about how we would feel if we were waiting for a response to something very personal to us. When we put our vulnerability out there and don't receive acceptance or validation, we now are experiencing the traumatic thought that the world is not as safe a place as we once thought it to be.
Without attention, this thought and belief will infiltrate your every move: you will be more closed off to the world, which causes others to close off as well. Think of how that would impact your environment and everyone who comes into contact with you. The closed-off energy will spread to every person you meet. And that is part of the reason why our world is so cold today.
We can help change this by paying attention to the messages we receive, and especially those we do not want to respond to. Is the person being overly demanding or pushy? Try to see the positive intent that they just want to feel secure and that someone hears them. If we hear and respond, they will soften.
Are we too busy to get to these 100s of emails? Either hire someone, automate a response, but just send them something. Trust me, they will appreciate even an automated and succinct response over nothing at all.
You see, it's all about intention: notice their intention for writing the message, and take care to respond if you can. And in receiving any message, respond to it with your own presence and intention -- even just one sentence or word could be enough. This would mean that they were seen and heard.
Whenever you respond, you are helping the other person open their heart to trust the universe.
So now we know why people do not reply to messages sometimes. That doesn't change the fact that we may feel lonely, desperate, vulnerable and hurt. Here's what I've realized in my journey as an Empathic Lightworker in handling these things:
Here's a short meditation on forgiveness, from the book "The Sculptor In The Sky" by Teal Swan:
Set a timer for 2 minutes. Within this time, go back to an experience that really hurt you, and feel the deepest you can feel in that moment. Don't be afraid to go there.
After the 2 minutes are over, set a timer for another 5 minutes, and during this time, imagine coming up to the person that hurt you, and let them know that you forgive them. Really explore the interaction and feel how difficult it feels to tell them that you forgive them, and see how happy they are that you have forgiven them. Give them a hug to end this section of the meditation.
Now set the timer for 2 more minutes, and recall a time where you hurt someone else by something you did. Maybe you never responded to someone's message. Go into that space and feel the other person hurting because of what you did.
After the 2 minutes are through, set the timer again for 5 minutes, and imagine that person coming to you and giving their forgiveness to you freely. See how happy they are and how easily they give their forgiveness away. Because when they forgive you, they forgive themselves, and they release away all that heavy pain and resentment they feel so that they can carry on with a beautiful life.
Now when the timer goes off, without setting it again, take this time to forgive yourself for the same action you did. Say something to yourself that you need to hear to free yourself from the feelings of disappointment or guilt you may feel. And release it. It is over. Everything is ok. You are ok. All is well.
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