What To Do When People Don't Reply To Your Messages

Have you ever written a heartfelt message to someone you really cared about -- whether it be someone you enjoyed working with, someone you admire, or maybe your significant other -- and then had the unfortunate experience of seeing that they read your message but have not replied?

Maybe a day or two has passed, and you realized they won't get to your message and you start to think that you must not be important to them, or that you never mattered. If they really cared, they would write back, right? 

Why They Don't Respond

There can be many reasons a person won't reply and can range from:

• They are too busy
• The message had too much personal content or was too long, and they didn't have enough rapport with you yet
• The message seemed rude or pushy
• They don't know the answer to what you were asking (and getting the answer seems too complicated)
• Writing the answer will take too much thought and time
• They don't place a high value on their time for you

Many people don't realize the pain that not responding causes the sender of the message. And it is because we are not taught these things in life. As you can see by the reasons above, most people only care about how they feel -- that THEY are too busy or THEY feel pushed, that THEY don't know the answer... 

Most of us have not stopped to think about how we would feel if we were waiting for a response to something very personal to us. When we put our vulnerability out there and don't receive acceptance or validation, we now are experiencing the traumatic thought that the world is not as safe a place as we once thought it to be.

Without attention, this thought and belief will infiltrate your every move: you will be more closed off to the world, which causes others to close off as well. Think of how that would impact your environment and everyone who comes into contact with you. The closed-off energy will spread to every person you meet. And that is part of the reason why our world is so cold today. 

How To Kindly Treat People Who Message You

We can help change this by paying attention to the messages we receive, and especially those we do not want to respond to. Is the person being overly demanding or pushy? Try to see the positive intent that they just want to feel secure and that someone hears them. If we hear and respond, they will soften. 

Are we too busy to get to these 100s of emails? Either hire someone, automate a response, but just send them something. Trust me, they will appreciate even an automated and succinct response over nothing at all. 

You see, it's all about intention: notice their intention for writing the message, and take care to respond if you can. And in receiving any message, respond to it with your own presence and intention -- even just one sentence or word could be enough. This would mean that they were seen and heard. 

Whenever you respond, you are helping the other person open their heart to trust the universe. 

What To Do When You Don't Get A Response

So now we know why people do not reply to messages sometimes. That doesn't change the fact that we may feel lonely, desperate, vulnerable and hurt. Here's what I've realized in my journey as an Empathic Lightworker in handling these things:

1. Know that you did nothing wrong. People will try to tell you that maybe you wrote too much, or you got too personal, or you were too pushy. Maybe you were all of these things. But don't ever think you were wrong. People always do the best they can with the resources they have at the moment. If you truly sent out that message with 100% love and light and good intent (even if it were a pushy message), then you did nothing wrong. Never let anyone tell you otherwise and dim the shine of who you are
2. It was always sent at the right time. Take solace in the fact that there are no accidents or coincidences and that everything always happens at the right time. If you haven't received a response, it's because you weren't meant to. There is nothing wrong with you. This email, message or text was sent by you because it will release a larger chain of events that will unfold for your benefit and one day you will see it.
3. It will show you more of who you are. If not getting a response triggered you, go into that feeling. Why does it hurt so much? What is this silence telling you? What are the thoughts that are filling your mind? They say that healing is like peeling the layers off an onion. Just because you feel you are still being triggered by the same thing doesn't mean you are not healing. You are just uncovering different layers, and more chances to heal even deeper.
4. Remember your mission on the planet. Most empaths and lightworkers were here to raise the vibration of the planet. Take a moment to feel the hurt and pain of not getting your rightfully deserved response. Is the energy heavy or light? Well if you feel low, then all others around you will feel low, and all others around them will feel low. The risk of that is we lower the overall vibration of the planet when we don't let go of this hurt. So no matter what has caused, it, we have to let it go, not just for the planet's sake, but for our sake.
5. Enjoy the contrast. Having someone not reply makes it so much more beautiful when someone does reply with an equally heartfelt response.  Without the pain of no response, would we ever feel the gratitude of those who appreciate us enough to respond in kind?
6. Forgive. This situation is calling us to forgive. When we feel hurt, there is someone we need to forgive. And amongst that someone is ourselves. Don't be afraid to let this layer go. When we forgive, we shed layers of hurt from past wounds, and we release it so that we can be lighter. 

Forgiveness Meditation To Clear Energy Blockages

Here's a short meditation on forgiveness, from the book "The Sculptor In The Sky" by Teal Swan:

Set a timer for 2 minutes. Within this time, go back to an experience that really hurt you, and feel the deepest you can feel in that moment. Don't be afraid to go there. 

After the 2 minutes are over, set a timer for another 5 minutes, and during this time, imagine coming up to the person that hurt you, and let them know that you forgive them. Really explore the interaction and feel how difficult it feels to tell them that you forgive them, and see how happy they are that you have forgiven them. Give them a hug to end this section of the meditation.

Now set the timer for 2 more minutes, and recall a time where you hurt someone else by something you did. Maybe you never responded to someone's message. Go into that space and feel the other person hurting because of what you did. 

After the 2 minutes are through, set the timer again for 5 minutes, and imagine that person coming to you and giving their forgiveness to you freely. See how happy they are and how easily they give their forgiveness away. Because when they forgive you, they forgive themselves, and they release away all that heavy pain and resentment they feel so that they can carry on with a beautiful life.

Now when the timer goes off, without setting it again, take this time to forgive yourself for the same action you did. Say something to yourself that you need to hear to free yourself from the feelings of disappointment or guilt you may feel. And release it. It is over. Everything is ok. You are ok. All is well.

How did that feel?

Did you ever consider that not getting an answer to a message may be a sign to forgive yourself? Write your thoughts or questions in the comments below and let us know how we can help.