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How To Tell If You're Working For A Narcissist

The quickest way to tell if you are working for a Narcissist is to pay attention to how they use rules and moral laws. 

A company has certain rules and laws they uphold to make things fair, whether they believe in them or not. Sometimes, there are regulations imposed on them to put people on equal footing. 

What we've found to be a key indicator of narcissism, and if you have a narcissistic boss, is their intentions with using the rules:

  • Do they have the outward appearance of following the rules, but internally, they are using the rules to get what they want?
  • Are they manipulating data to get the result they want?
  • What is their driving intention towards interacting with the rules?
  • Are they operating secretly, behind the scenes to set up an appearance of following the rules, or to move forward with a personal plan?
  • Are you pressured to collaborate with them under urgent circumstances?

All these signs are red flags that you are working for a narcissistic boss. 

Now,...

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Mistakes: What's Perfect About This?

The Waiter

I was in a restaurant one day and the waiter came by to show us the specials. Of course, for an empath, we can see when a waiter is just going through a spiel. This waiter sincerely loved everything he was recommending. When we told him what we wanted, no matter how strange, he would bring it out with all the trimmings. 

We engaged in very nice conversation and actually got to know each other in a very authentic way. Nothing was forced and everything he said added value to our conversation, our dining experience, and our lives. 

However, once we got our entrees, one of us realized he didn't bring out the appetizer, and mentioned it to him. He immediately felt terrible and asked if we still wanted it (we didn't). Then he asked if he could get us extra of anything at all (we didn't need it). However, at the end, he ended up giving us our dessert to rectify the mishap. 

We were very happy with the service, and once we were done, we gave him a very good tip and...

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10 Reasons You May Be Too Stressed At Work... During The Holidays!

Like the frog in a pot of water that does not realize it is being boiled as the temperature rises slowly, often we do not realize our stress levels sneakily rising during the holidays. Here are 10 sneaky ways stress sneaks up with you at work... and how to become human again. 

10 Sneaky Ways To Know You Or Someone You Know Is Boiling Stressed From The Holidays:

10.  You get an out of office message with a backup contact, and you email the first person asking for their backup contact (yes, this happens). 

9. You get an out of office message from a colleague with a date they are expected to return to the office, and you forget what the date is (or even that they are out of the office) and continue to email them asking for the date they will return (yes, this happens).

8. You complain to the person who sent you a link to something why the link doesn't work instead of realizing that it may be a technical issue.

7. The conversations you have with your significant other or...

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Empaths: How To Be Your Own Boss

A manager once told he that the worst bosses he had taught him the most... now that is an elegant thought but there is only so much suffering we should be allowed to take. The truth is, no one deserves to be treated unfairly by a person in power. 

This has to stop. This website is taking part in that (r)evolution. 

Most of my career has been under horrible bosses. My old manager was right in that they taught me the most -- they taught me what I was willing to accept in my life and what I wanted real empathy to look like in leadership. I decided to become my own boss. You can do that, too. Here's something to get you started.

How To Be Your Own Boss 

1) First realize that being your own boss does not mean starting your own business (but you can, if you want!) Being your own boss means empowering yourself to take responsibility for what you do, and perform quality work because if you were the boss, that's what you'd want. You take on the level of responsibility in your...

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Intention: An Empath's Secret Superpower In The Workplace

Whoever understands intention wields great personal power in any workplace. When you understand the importance and influence of intention, you gain two magical powers:

  1. It gives you the power to understand anyone
  2. It allows you to create your own reality. 

Human beings, when you narrow it all down, do anything and everything to feel better, or to avoid pain. This is a positive intention. 

The Power to Understand Anyone

If we assume everything everyone does has a positive intent, we simplify so much of life. That coworker who keeps following up with you if you don't answer an email right away is not trying to make you feel bad but trying to make her life easier by getting the answer now to avoid a situation she may be trying to fix. 

That boss who yells at you after you spent so much time and effort on a tough project for him isn't really angry at you, but he may be scared because he needed to get something done for his boss, or else he would get fired. 

When you...

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Why Racism Still Happens In The Workplace: A Spiral Dynamics Perspective

In 1865, the Union won the US Civil War, and slavery became illegal in all states (as in, the states' rights to have it was abolished). 

In 1955, Rosa Parks, tired from a hard day's work, refused to move to the back of the bus. 

It's now 2019, but we are seeing that racism still exists in the corporate workplace. It's subtle, it's hidden. But it's still there in the minds and non-inclusive behaviors of employees. 

It's not just whites discriminating against people of color. It's the majority mindset. A famous Latin manufacturing company will never have a white guy on its leadership team. A large European financial firm will not ever promote any person without an important name of many last name strings into any influential position, or any person over 50 years old. A company in Southeast Asia with a mostly white management team coldly ignores the Asian workers in company parties and instead huddle together in groups, talking to no one else.

As much as many...

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The Secret CURE For Micro-Managing Bosses!

 
Do you remember being hounded by your mother or father to pick up your toys or do some menial task? Do you remember how it made you feel? That if you didn't do it right away, they would act like the world would end? Fast forward to today. Are you feeling triggered by a micromanaging boss? Someone who pings you every day asking for some unimportant administrative detail?
 
Let's look at why this happens, from both perspectives. Managers become micromanaging the same way parents do: because they want certainty in their lives. Micromanaging parents are insecure that their children won't know how to get out of trouble on their own. They cower over them thinking that they will protect them when what they are really doing is robbing them of their ability to make their own mistakes, and their own decisions.  
 
Micromanaging managers are insecure that they will be judged if they do not reach a target. They are insecure because deep inside, they do not feel capable of...
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Why KPIs Should Be Obsolete

Managers Take Their Stress Out on Employees

A manager came to us struggling with a peculiar situation: he found out his employees were trashing him behind his back. It turned out that morale started getting very low and toxic after he had yelled at them for not achieving their deadlines on time. He had been under a lot of stress to meet KPIs -- so he would explode in rage to his employees.

This is not an uncommon scenario. People can be scarred by managers' anger, stress and rage taken out on them. Most of the time, the employee's intentions were very good, they gave it their all, yet they were punished. And work was never the same. That's when the environment started to get toxic, not just for the person who bore the brunt of managerial anger, but for everyone.

Maya Angelou said:

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how...
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7 Reasons Why Motivating Unproductive Employees Does Not Work

Why You Shouldn't Motivate An Unproductive Employee

How many of you have run a business, or managed a team which included at least one unproductive employee? Maybe this person has been the bane of your work life, and not being able to depend on them causes you stress? Perhaps after hiring him, you may believe that they have lied about their experience on their CV or resume? 

One of the toughest situations many managers regularly face, especially if they've inherited their team, is dealing with an unproductive employee. Consequently, many managers erroneously believe that the problem is caused by the employee's lack of motivation: If they are not performing, perhaps they need to be motivated. But this is rarely the case, as motivation is simply like placing a bandaid on a gaping wound. It doesn't address the underlying culture issues. 

When they find out inevitably that motivation and listening to them does not work, that's when managers often contact HR to help...

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